Matthew Lyle Landsman

Dedicated to my teachers. You know who
you are…

Even to struggle mightily,

One has to be capable of

mighty things.

To feel great sorrow,

one needs to be capable

of greatness.

To grow angry or sad,

a person has to be able

to grow.

To learn even the hard way,

one finds out that he has the capacity

to learn.

Before one can fall from grace,

one has to have been bestowed

a place of grace

to begin with.

After taking two steps backward,

it dawned on me

that progress was only a possibility because

I had once taken
those same steps forward.

Now I only had to recall how

I’d managed the forward steps,
and learn to love the forward progress enough
to maintain it.

To sit and remember the good old days,

I had to have once lived them.

And I should be thankful always

even for what was in the past

or has simply been taken away.

To have been blessed is still a blessing,

even when it is viewed

in retrospect.

I miss my late mother.

It was a tragedy to have lost her

while she was young,

but it would be an even greater
tragedy if after her untimely passing,

I didn’t feel a sense of loss
and miss her badly.

I miss my youth at times.
At least I was fortunate enough

to have had a childhood.

Not all people are afforded the luxury of being able

to just be young while they are.

I wish there was more room in my house.
Homeless souls have the entire world to stretch out in,

but wish for the friendly confines of any home,

even one more modest than mine.

To be grounded, you have to

have once had freedom.

The secret is to have enjoyed freedom

while it was yours.

My future isn’t secure,

but I will be more capable of living  within my means

now that I have learned to live simply

while I was treated to a bout of poverty.

Prosperity will be appreciated and

never again be taken for granted.

When I lost my beautiful head of hair,
I was given a gift of time

to use as I please
as I don’t have to spend it

tending to what’s no longer there.

I will never recapture my youth,

but then my youth was overshadowed

with ignorance and ineptitude.

With the time I have, I will be able to

apply wisdom,
feel compassion,

recognize blessings,
and give thanks.

I am aware now

of the sources of ill feelings such as

regret, remorse, and resentment.

I will be judicious

with the world around me, and

minimize the damage left in my wake.

I am realizing

the real treasures in life

cannot be listed on an insurance dossier.

When the last of my breath has left me,

the sum of my treasure will be entombed
in my stilled heart, and assembled there
at my resting place.

I hope the assembly is large,

and glad to have
known me.

I hope the bounty of their personal treasures

is swelled with my contribution,

and that they too

see that value
is in the life we live and

not piled about their properties.

Between now and then,

I’m going to make the world a better place,

And wish for my time and life

to be remembered

and hopefully become a part of

the treasures of others.

Matthew Lyle Landsman

July 22, 2008