Matthew Lyle Landsman

Next time I pursue a job, I’m not going to provide a resume. I’m going to find out who the other applicants are, and defame them instead. I won’t share my meritorious past. I will distort tiny truths about the list of others. Not to disqualify them, but to cast a haze of doubt surrounding them.
I won’t list my achievements and education, I will criticize the others for a digression twenty five years ago whilst they were still figuring out who they were, and had a moment of poor judgement. I won’t focus on my lack of being civic minded, I will question the degree of their commitment while they were…
I won’t shine any light on me at all, because that would expose my flaws and lack of character…I’ll create a maze of half truths about the others, and hope my ineptitude gets lost and that I slip under the radar, and hope for lifetime benefits for my efforts (and lack of achievement and contribution.)
And after all is said and done, my family and store bought friends will applaud my career and veneer of character.
Nah, I think I’ll just keep earning it the old fashioned and hard way. MLL