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Today…

Looking forward, and hoping to find only all that’s ahead of me…and not what’s been left behind.

Matthew.

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Just a few hours of snow, and some rains that did freeze. A frigid wind, that faded to breeze. A bit of slippin’ and slidin’, then hot cocoa did the storm to ease.
Then came dawn, and the promise of sun. A morning of skating, then the promise was won.

SONY DSC

the melt…

A not so distant memory of the chill that I felt. Now in the moment of noon, nature sings a chorus from the eaves and trees. She sings the songs of the melt.
Stay warm my friends, in your heart and your cheeks.
For the love of the sun and the Son. Have a glorious winter afternoon, Matty

If you should strain to listen for me on a soft warm breeze, you won’t hear me. But I’ll find you when you aren’t listening. And I shall whisper, I shall sing with you…our favorite songs. I’ll read a line from that book; the one that we made our own. Don’t listen for me, and I’ll find you no matter where the breezes may blow. They will always carry me to you.

wind

…I’ll be on the breeze

When you walk some days, to nowhere special, and have little on your mind, except the tasks of the day, a call to make, a bill to pay…I’ll join you then and put a song in your heart. And your step will grow lighter and a smile will come sneakin’ and make your eyes brighter. And even if others are watching, right there on the sidewalk of a crowded avenue…that’s me there with you, and we’ll dance. Just like before, as it always has been. I’ll be your happy feet, you and me together friend.

dancin shoes

…happy feet!

Come midnight, I’ll rustle your curtain and be the song that fills your room when you first turn on your tunes. I’ll be subtle. I’ll be loud. I’ll be a whisper in the midst of a crowd. I’ll be there on a misty morn…hiding in plain sight. Walk with me and speak aloud. I will echo your words, especially when you sing.

foggy

Hidin’ in plain sight…

I’ve taken your love with me, and promise to share it with others. That way they can return it to you over time. You’ll know it when the moments come…please open your heart again. I’m always right here.
My heart still beats, my eyes still shine. My face still lights up with a smile when you cross my mind. I still read the pages time and again. And sing along with every line. Please do the same, with others too. I know you’ll always remember me, and I shan’t forget a thing about you. But do sing, and do dance. Love can be found most anywhere, so do keep your heart open, and soft. It will find you, as you found me. Don’t listen for me. I’ll find you no matter where the breezes may blow. They will always carry me to you. I love you so…

feather
I’m not sad where I am. I am whole and filled always with all the love that comes my way. The breezes are sweet, the rains are warm. The flowers have the love of morning dew. And regardless of where I wander, the sun is always peeking my way, and I always find home ahead of the storm. Be glad for me. I’m here for you, and I’ll let the love overflowing me here find its way to you.

ears

Princesses only please…

Celebrate the times whenever you please. I’ll see you one day, but not real soon. Bring your best shoes, and a pair of princess mouse ears, and your smile too love…’cause here, there are no tears. And we’ll dance, just like before…See ya!

(penned by Matty Landsman)

Souls and soles…

Perhaps souls and soles are one and the same, if one might walk a while in another’s soles, and has opened his mind and heart…then one has truly walked in the soul of another…Empathy is a divine thing, of that I am convinced friend. I’m not so sure if your shoes or mine are dustier today, but I am sure that you’ve touched mine; sole and soul. MLL

Adieu to Jordyn…

My three days with Jordyn Kube were the most generous and rewarding in kind. Jordy girl, you were so kind, so strong and oh so sweet. I shall gladly never be the same for the gifts of your embrace and trust on your last few days here.

Jordyn Kube ~ 1990-2015

Jordyn Kube ~ 1990-2015

I wasn’t in the room when the merciful Angels came, but I felt a gentle breeze precede them there, and heard them softly call your name. And those last few times I held you close to me, you squeezed my fingers tightly whilst I quietly hummed “In the Arms of the Angels”, so only those Angels, you, and I could hear. Jordy, Jordy, so sweet Jordy…a thousand times I thank you for knowing and showing your sweet love. For this I am eternally grateful. Love, Matty

Where Jordyn lives…

There is a light in a yonder window, that glows there all night long. There is a life behind that window blanketed in love, in care, and tiny hour songs. There is a breeze that softly blows, from Angel’s wings and heaven knows…a kindness abides where that window glows.

There’s a collective laughter, a buoyant prayer, a knowing sigh, and a whisper there. A quiet wishing, an asking why. And friends, and friends and family gather. They come and go and return anew. They hope and hold and support one another. I see a place where the window glows, and love abounds, and heaven knows…

And come what may, our Jordyn knows that faith prevails and the storms that rumble and rain that falls, are a reminder that tomorrows hold blossoms and life springing always in the desert beyond that window…where she prays to that same God for a life well of her own.

Behind that always illuminated pane and door, gather aunts, and cousins, and kinfolk there. Gather friends and family and well wishers there. Always a full table and a brimming glass, a fresh course of laughter and reassuring smiles exchanged. Where an air of hope and miracle reside…Perhaps the miracles are the life and love behind that softly lit window there…

And when I move away beyond that door, I shall never be same. Never so strong, nor so weak. Never so faith filled, or question filled. Never so solemn nor amazed.There is a breeze of that softly blows, from Angel’s wings and heaven knows…a kindness abides where that window glows.

I love your family my friend Kaye. Matty

September 4, 2015

For our Karis Louise on a late summer day…until we meet again, here’s a message from Uncle Matt…

Where is the wind born and what is the sweet song it sings as it meets the trees and passes me here? Just where does she go? I know she sings a different song when she passes through the autumn leaves…then sings no more after those bows have shed their fall hues. Then she only whispers a solemn adieu.
Where do clouds come from? Perhaps from the seas, or the mountains beyond. Though you and others may often dread their coming, the sky mourns their passing…Why else would it become so empty and look so blue?
What makes the waves curl when they get near to the shore? Perhaps the joy of having traveled from beyond the horizon is so much to celebrate that they fight those last moments and the final yards…Yet they gather there and meld at the shore…then return to places beyond our sight and eventually come back for more…
Karis Louise, where did you go? Will I find you in those trees, or in that sky, or at a beach somewhere?
These are questions that perhaps only God and heaven know…
But I can tell you where Karis began.
Karis Louise…
As a new baby in the Lone Star State, first Gramma, then Papa held you before all others in the world…and it took their breath away.
Those eyes like the sea, and beautiful brown locks…that petite girl with her quiet smile, even in silence from across the room, could take our breath away.
And she did at times struggle, some moments tried, and thought, and fought for a string to pull, a button to push…for reasons to smile, to be proud, to be loved. And her passion took our breath away.
It is a world of give and take, of seeking balance, and taking leaps of faith.
A life of miracles and reasons to believe. Karis gave us Stevie, a wee one with a will as strong as a mighty river, and a heart that fluttered and blew about in the breeze. Yet he somehow more than managed to remain with us and grow stronger over time. The miracle multiplied. And it took our breath away.
There are things we face, wounds of the spirit, and injuries of our frames. Karis was no exception to life’s traumas and dramas. And over time, I witnessed her pain. Even to sit next to me there was sometimes a strain. I too have been touched by the tortures of the wounded discs and twisted frame. And we shared the couch and empathy, and it took our breath away.
Karis did smile that smile, and endure the moments and travel the miles. And she did say to me one day…in essence, that she was far too young to have grown so old. That mishaps in cars had beat her up so. She confided in me as she leaned on me…and I felt her struggle to maintain control between the relievers of pain, and the pains that accompanied relief. Both can shroud us and wick away the joys of life. And at times, I held my breath in hopes she could find relief without peril…but I came to realize what was possible for me, might not be for her. And my heart grew heavy with her suffering. And again, it took my breath away just to see her this way…
That Karis did love to give, and nurture, and protect was evident in her quests to rescue pets and people. That she had an infectious passion for doing so followed her through the years. And I have long been kept company by those critters, by her breezy ways.
And I myself was rescued at times by her kindness to this old uncle. By a quick phone call to her that always grew to an hour of grateful talk. By a text that lingered there with a buoyant message and sweetness…and I peeked at those notes time and again.
But time as it passes is not always kind. And the miracles can grow fewer, and mercies elusive. And the promises unkept by nature and chance…They mount and wait, till a collective dark cloud might visit in the night. And in this case, found her fast asleep and hopefully at peace, while it took the life breath and our Karis away.
And I’d like to believe that the person who first held her on earth, held her first in heaven too…
Karis Louise, also known as “Careless Leweegee”…I will so miss you girl. I’ll miss your sweet notes on Facebook, and your texts or calls to let me know that you’re “on Snoqualmie pass and will be at Papa’s in just a little while…”
I will miss you propping me up at times when I’ve needed propping, and hugging me when I’ve needed hugging. I will miss your unique way of saying; “I love you, Uncle Matt”.
Because Karis so loved the outdoors, the shores, the trees…the mountains and a place to run her pup (I call him “Sam-I-am”). That she loved the camp, the fishing, a chance to do a little time away from the city. She loved a bit of thinkin’, and drinkin’, and plinkin’.
Maybe there’s a time between midnight and dawn way up on the Snoqualmie Pass summits that such souls are called to. Beckoned to a celestial exit up there that takes one to a place that only God and heaven know. And perhaps I’ll call to YOU Karis, from that high pass some night to let you know that I’m on my way…
But for now, I can only sigh a sad and heavy sigh, and recall the times we shared. Those precious memories that will from now on carry both peace and a twinge in tow.
I shall revisit and will cling to them…and I say in kind, “Little one, I love you too. Get your rest, and please carry the love of an old uncle with you where you go…Say hello to Gramma for me, and know…
You took our breath away.

THE UM.